


lost

by JeanJacketKisses



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Other, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 23:50:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16922727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeanJacketKisses/pseuds/JeanJacketKisses
Summary: this is a vent i did a while back uwu





	lost

Everything was lost.

All around me was death and despair. He was right, after all, it follows me. I tried to make a difference I really did they have to believe that. Who am I kidding? I tried. But I failed. Like always.

I watch Jason fall, blood spilling from his head onto the snow. Looked like it was splattered there on purpose. It was almost pretty. Almost.   
I felt a pit in my stomach. He was gone.  
My brother.

It was all white noise around me. I couldn’t hear anything but I knew I was screaming, I could feel it ripping at my throat.

I made my way over to him crawling on my hands and knees. It was pathetic, I know. Quickly I scooped him in my arms. God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you tried to help me. im…im so god damn sorry. I choked. I felt the lump in my throat. I can't speak I can't speak please I’m sorry I’m sorry.  
The words kept filling up my head.

I screamed again. This time I heard it tear through the sky. I let my aggression, desperation, and sadness out in that yell.  
Then staring back down at my deceased brother really gave me perspective.  
This was all my fault. I dragged all these people into it. god. They trusted me they…they trusted me.

Was god real? Did he enjoy this? Before I knew it I was yelling at some god I didn’t even know existed “ IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? ARE YOU LAUGHING? LAUGH IT UP YOU FUCKED UP PIECE OF SHIT FUCK YOU FUCK YOU” I choked back tears and looked around.

I did this.

 

I felt the cool metal press into my skull.

“how did it turn out for you?”

I felt my stomach flip as they dug their shoe into my organs. I dropped Jason as I fell over groaning.  
The taste of bitter metal filled my mouth.

“they trusted you”

Another hard kick to my torso.

Blood begins to leak from my mouth onto the snow. How pretty.

“you look like a fucking mess” I heard a small huff of laughter after that.

It was true though.

Red puffed eyes, tear covered face, and now my own blood to match the pathetic look.

“I…” words can't come out.

Everyone is dead. It's all my fault. Jasons dead…he…  
In a quick motion, a gun flung in front of my eyes.

“I hope you have it in your heart to do what's right”

A small silence 

“what do you think you deserve?”

The gun found its way into my hands.

My fault

My fault

I'm sorry

A small whimper escaped me, along with some tears.

 

I made sure the gun was comfortable under my chin. My finger slipped onto the trigger gingerly. The snow made a comfortable pillow. 

ʞ̸͝͡ɹ͜͏̵̡͠ɐ̷̢̕͠͡ɯ̴̶͢͢ stared down on me with a blank expression. 

“it's your fault your friends died”

 

I let my vision blur on the red infecting the snow from all the bodies. 

Friends.  
I had those.  
that's…thats a nice thought.

 

[ gunshot ]


End file.
